10,000 Pounds Off My Shoulders

Wow! The my birthday and Christmas flew by so fast! I finally have a chance to post now that I am home and back into the swing of things. The girls are back to their routine which is always good.

The holidays went GREAT! I can't believe I am saying that! They went so smooth & awesome, everything worked out lovely. I was SO anxious on Christmas Eve when Nathan was at his parents house, but I kept busy and I had a great time seeing Christmas lights & spending time with my family, and of course shopping. The one thing that was a little awkward was when Nathan was at his parents house for Christmas Eve, Nathan was saying his good-byes to his family... and his dad disappeared. He didn't say bye, didn't call, didn't text... nothing. I think this is extremely shitty... why the hell wouldn't you say good-bye to your son on Christmas Eve?! They haven't talked since then. It just is not fair to Nathan. He didn't do anything wrong and he's in the middle of all of this. I guess it just proves my point even more... that is the type of people they are. Oh well... I guess. Can't change them!

Now that Christmas is over I feel a huge sense of relief! I am SO glad it went smoothly and there were not fights. No blow ups, I can't believe it! I kind of am still waiting for some sort of aftermath of it all. Well, at least they didn't ruin our Christmas! I feel like 10,000 pounds have just been lifted off of my shoulders, and that feels so refreshing.

A little before Christmas my Dr. and I upped my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 200mg. I think this may be the right dose for me! It's hard to tell though, because now the holiday stress is gone, so it could be that or the increase in dose, or both. I can't really describe how I feel right now. Happy, excited, relief, refreshed, I can't remember the last time I felt those feelings. It helps that the girls got a crapload of new toys too... I am having so much fun playing with their new toys with them, and reading their new books, it's all so much fun. I'd rather give them stuff than buy stuff for myself, because when they get new things I get excited too. Something about that childhood innocent excitement and fun... I just love it!

A little drawback- I feel like my muscle relaxers are doing nothing for me. At first I only took one a day, then two a day, and now I'm going to try three a day. I hope they work for me, my back pain is rediculous!

I really hope these feelings stay. I'm feeling so good right now. No drama, no worries, no holiday stress. It's peaceful and calm, just how I like it!