Stress Stress & more Stress...

My thoughts are racing. Since I woke up this morning I've been rush rush rushed....

I wish that registering for classes wasn't so difficult. I finally paid my tuition from fall 08 semester, so I was able to register for courses, although since I am wanting online courses, I need to get permission from the instructor, then send it to two other people, and then wait a little while so I can actually register for the class. Pain in the ass, seriously. On top of that, I have to find out if they even count for my major. Since I have transferred credits, some of them may not count, so back to square one if that happens. With technology these days, I cannot believe how difficult it is to register for courses that you NEED. Anyway, I found three classes that I THINK will work toward my major. I have to email my adviser to see for sure though.

Last night I saw my nurse prescriber. (She basically a psychiatrist, without the fancy name and a few less qualifications.) I told her how I was prescribed Flexeril for my muscle and back pain. I thought I was only supposed to take it as needed, but she said take it once a day. On the bottle it says take 2-3 times daily. Hmm... okay. I am taking it once a day right now. Lately I've been sleeping better which is good. Tea at night helps, and N is good about making it for me. =) The nurse also asked how Thanksgiving went. I told her it went really well, it was peaceful and calm. I was sad my parents and family weren't there, but it was nice and peaceful nontheless. She asked how Christmas is going to go, and I told her. My birthday is the 23rd, N works that day so he is going to come down as soon as he gets off work. Celebrate my bday, then Christmas Eve he'll spend working and then with his family. Christmas Eve night (at the latest, 10 p.m.) he is going to leave to come by my parent's house. He wants to see the girls wake up with their presents, it's going to be SO much fun! Anyway, I am SO worried that N's Mom is going to ruin his Christmas. I have a really bad feeling that she is going to make him feel guilty or cry or blow up or something. It's happened before, so it's not like I am imagining it happening! It happened 2 Christmases ago. She has a hard time letting go of him. He has his own family now and when that happens priorities change. It's hard for parents to accept that, but it's not right to make N feel bad. He does NOT deserve that. Everything that his parents have done so far has hurt N more than anyone else. If they think they are "punishing" or hurting me, they are wrong. Most of all, this affects N. I feel so bad that he is in the middle of this. Most of all, I feel bad that his Mom is such a bitch. There. I said it. It feels good to get that out. I of course would never say that to her, but that is my opinion of her. I can't believe his parents haven't said sorry to him. Gosh that makes me SO much more mad! His parents STILL don't realize what they've done. It's so clear... clear as glass. She better not ruin his Christmas. I will be SOOOOOOOOO pissed! He said if something happens he's going to leave. He said he "won't put up with that." and I was so happy to hear him say that. He KNOWS he is more than fully welcome by my parents and family.
All in all, we increased my Wellbutrin to 200mg. I always say, "I can always go down, but I think I could feel better, so I want to try an increase." I haven't started it yet, I will tomorrow. As of now, I think the muscle relaxers are working. I feel so monotone, if that makes sense.

Okay onto bigger and better things! Highlight of my day yesterday: Me teaching Kaelei to 'booty dance'. Did I mention she was running around dancing nakey? It was SO adorable I almost died laughing so hard. It was the cutest thing! Also, dancing with Sophie was a blast. =)

Today my friend D was supposed to come up but the roads were bad. I was looking forward to it, but oh well. Saturday! It'll give me Saturday to look forward to.

Like I said above, I feel so monotone. My mind is racing trying to do 10 things at once. I'm not happy, not sad, not excited, just blah. Gotta get this done. Gotta do that. Have to do this before this, and that before that, make sure to order presents online, make sure to email professors, make sure to clean, feed the girls, change diapers, clean office closet, on and on and on.... I wonder if this is the muscle relaxers...? Hmm. My body does feel relaxed. I could probably sleep now if I laid down. If only ODD would nap with me....