I AM PREGNANT!

BIG new of course!

I am pregnant! Almost 6 weeks! I was shocked.

I hadn't had a migraine in 2 weeks which was weird. My boobs felt a little more sensitive than normal when S was breastfeeding, so I took a test. I was expecting just a test line. Woooooop I wash my hands, then there's a faint line. The bathroom light was off so I turn it on and my heart was racing. I was tricking myself to think that I was seeing an imaginary second line. Ohh no. That was most definitely NOT my imagination! There was a faint pregnant line. I was 4 weeks at the time of the pregnancy test.

So, I was on medication. Effexor XL 75mg. I was scared. Antidepressants while pregnant? No way, not for me. I want to do this PILL FREE. Of course it's not for everyone, but I really feel better knowing I am not putting substances into my body than worrying sick about my unborn baby while taking medications. The same day I took the pregnancy test I had an appointment with my therapist. She said congrats and we talked about a game plan. I am so happy that we figured everything out, what to do, how to do it, when to do it. It's all in place if I need it. Support, yes! The next day I called my OB and said I want to get off the effexor. They wrote me a RX to start my wean. 7 days ofo 37.5mg Effexor XL.

Fast forward to today. I am on day 2 of taking NO effexor. I am doing great! MINOR vertigo, that's all! I am so so happy. I read nightmare stories about weaning off of effexor. I am very fortunate that I am doing so well. I hope I am not jinxing myself and I continue to have an easy time off of the medication.

I am so happy, our babies will all be close in age. This is great, we wanted 3 kids and always wanted them to be close in age. We planned on trying for another baby in October 2009, when I was off of my medication, but I guess life has different plans for us. This will be my last pregnancy and I am trying to make the most of it. I am very happy, excited, thrilled! I can't wait to paint the nursery and buy baby room decor. I have so many images of baby rooms in my head, I want to apply them to our walls! I just need to know if this little munchkin is a boy or a girl first though. =D

School is almost done. YES.

I've been so busy lately, but things have been great. I am so happy right now, and so happy that I am happy! What a rush, what a feeling!

Long Awaited Update!

It's been a VERY long time since I last updated. I am extremely proud to say I am doing very very very well!

Things with the in-laws have calmed down. They've backed off, and I am SO happy they did. I can actually wake up feeling fresh, awake, happy, and excited to start my new day without anxiety.

I've been on Effexor 75 mg. for a bit now. I LOVE it. I was nervous to try it, but I am so grateful that I did. What an amazing antidepressant, lol! My anxiety is so much better, I am so happy. I have motivation, I am excited, I do things alone, I am myself again. What an amazing place I am at right now! I am so proud of myself, and it has taken me so much time to say that, and I am SO damn proud!!! I feel like I've climbed a mountain and I should yell, "I DID IT WORLD, I FOUGHT MY PPD! I WON MY BATTLE!!!"

I had an appointment today with my nurse prescriber. She said since the 75 mg. is working so well for me, there's no need to increase. I am happy about that, and I am happy that I am able to get out and do things and not worry or think that everyone is looking at me and critisizing me. I feel free. I feel like I can finally spread my wings and fly... what a feeling!

My PPD counselor is amazing. I have an amazing support staff working on me, I am lucky that I found such a great therapist. She's helping me set up my very own support system of friends, particularly Moms, and young Moms, that I can relate to. I am so excited to meet new Moms to make friends with.

That's all for now, I guess! There's not much going on. I am very busy with the kids & school, and my life is pretty drama free right now and I am extremely happy about that. I've been exercising and doing fun things like playing outside with the kids, planting flowers, etc. and it's great. I love it. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it!